My first attempt at writing about Yaoi so please bare with me. ._. As you can see the pairing is ReitaxKai. I haven't wrote about Kai yet so I've just decided to write this plus I love these 2 together! XD
Whisper my Name
Chapter 1: I Laid my eyes Upon you
"KAAAAI!" I heard someone yell my name. My head quickly snapped up to see a small chibi staring darkly into my eyes. "W-What?" I asked innocently. Ruki slowly started to sigh as he ran his hand through his dark brown hair, "You keep spacing out." He answered calmly. I was? I shook my head trying to get out of my crammed world of thoughts. "Sorry." I replied simply. From the corners of my eyes I could see Reita constantly staring at me like he was trying to figure out what I was thinking. My eyes travelled to him but I quickly looked away before looking into his eyes. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and stared at the rest of my band members carefully. "You've been acting weird lately. What is it?" I heard a voice ask with concern as they touched my shoulder. I quickly, and gently pushed them away. My eyes travelled up to reveal who it was. It was Reita. As soon as our eyes locked I looked the opposite direction. "Ano, I'll be back." I announced quickly, not making eye contact with them as I walked out of the recording studio. I never got much sleep these last few nights. Those flashbacks keep breaking in. They keep coming back. Every time someone touches me or makes eye contact with me I always think about what happened. And for some reason it's ten times worse with Reita. I sighed deeply, running my hand across my eyes to stop them from closing. I'm the type to hide my emotions very easily. I let these memories, emotions, tears take control of me all on their own. I've been a burden to so many that it cripples their lives making it all my fault. I heard the door open and close softly as the person stepped out. I never bothered to look up to see who it was. But I had it feeling it was... "Kai." The voice whispered soothingly. That voice could be recognized even from a 1000 miles away. I was about to walk back into the recording studio until a hand softly, grabbed my wrist. It took me a few seconds to gently pull it off, ignoring the signal of eye contact Reita was giving me. My hand reached for the door handle until he pushed me against the door, trapping me with his arms in either side of me. My eyes looked down. His gentle hand slowly lifted my chin, forcing me to look him right in the eyes. I responded by closing them quickly. Reita sighed as he kept his hand below my chin. "Why won't you make eye contact with me?" Those words made me want to open my eyes. It made me not want to be afraid for getting too close with someone. "I want to open up to you." I whispered under my breath. Quite enough so Reita wouldn't hear. "Open your eyes." His voice commanded softly. I felt tears well up in my eyes. I couldn't hold them any longer. I've held them in for half my life. Not shedding a tear. So can't I let it all out right now? Right here in front of someone who I have no clue how I feel about them? I could control these tears. I could make them stop. I could make them fall. Just let it all out this time. Just this one time. My tears broke the bearers hidden in my eyes and they slid down my cheeks, leaving a damp path as they fell. "K-Kai." Reita whispered as he slowly lifted his hands to cup my face. Why does he keep doing that? Does he actually love me or will he just glance at me once, take my heart in his hand and shatter it into a million pieces? I've been through this once. That was one to many. He gently caressed my cheeks making me freeze in the place I was in. I didn't move an inch. I couldn't even if I wanted to. It was like there was something keeping me there. The tears that were still falling constantly suddenly stopped from a simple pair of small lips gently brushing over my cheeks. This time it wasn't me who was stopping them. It was... His lips made the all the tears disappear in thin air."R-Reita, step back." I commanded as my other hand reached for the door handle. Not getting to close to someone was the best thing. Shattered, was all I get out of it. A line of confused flashed through his eyes as he stepped back, looking at me with concern. I swallowed hard as I stared at the floor with wide eyes.
"I would never hurt you. Trust me."
I shook my head and opened the door. Those words were lies. I can't trust you. "Kai, wait!" Reita called after me. I slammed the door causing him to stumble back. I started to breath heavier than before and my heartbeat began to quicken. I can't get into one again. I just can't. "Kai?" Aoi asked confused. My head snapped up at the sudden call of my name. "H-Hai?" I stuttered. I could still feel small tears at the very corners of my eyes. No, he can't love me. Reita can't love me back. That's impossible. I mean who would love me in that way?
What was wrong with him? Kai hasn't been acting like himself lately. He walked out the door excusing himself, without making eye contact with anyone else in the room. "Does anyone know what's going on with Kai?" Uruha asked as we all stared at door he left from. I shook my head. "I don't know." I answered simply. But I'm going to find that out. I stood up, walked to the door and opened it. Kai was leaning against the wall, almost in tears. No tears fell but his light brown eyes seemed to glisten silently in the light. "Kai." I whispered. He never bothered to look up. Kai made his way to the door, completely ignoring me. It was like there was an invisible wall between the two of us right now. I grabbed his wrist softly, not wanting to hurt him. I tried to be as gentle as I could. Kai pulled my hand off and reached for the door handle. Why won't he open up to anyone?! He knows that he can trust us. I pushed him against the door with a single hand as I trapped him in between my arms. Kai's gaze travelled down, ignoring me yet again. I took one of my hands as I nonchalantly lifted his chin so he could look me dead in the eye. But as soon as our eyes were about to lock he quickly closed them. Oh, Kai why won't you open to anyone? At least open up to me. "Why won't you make eye contact with me?" I asked gently. Kai's mouth opened. He spoke but I just couldn't make it out. "I want to..." He whispered. I want to? What does he want to do? That's all I could make out. I couldn't hear the last part of his sentence. "Open your eyes." My voice commanded softly. This is really starting to worry me. What is going on with Kai? He's keeping everything locked up inside. What is that thing he's
keeping locked up? Please, just open up to me. Talk with me. Small droplets of crystal fell from the corners of his eyes. They slid down his perfect cheeks. "K-Kai." I whispered shocked as I slowly started to cup his gentle face in my hands. Yes, let it all out. Let it all out in front of me. Spill everything. Let it rain over me. The hands that were on either side of his face started to caress his cheeks as softly as they could. More tears fell and I could feel him tense as I did. I want to catch these tears. I want them to stop falling from your eyes. My lips met the glistening tear that was just about to fall. Another piece of his heart was going to be gone. But I saved it. Even if it was one small piece. It's not broken. The tears just suddenly stopped just like that. I could feel Kai started to shake slightly. I could even hear his own heartbeat. Is he alright— "R-Reita step back." He whispered as he pushed me as gently as he could, while grabbing the door handle at the same time. You finally started to open up to me. You can't just shatter this chance now. I stepped forward, "Kai, wait!" But it was already to late. He slammed the door causing me to take a few steps back. My started to squeeze shut as I ran my hand across my face with a deep sigh. Maybe what I did was a little too much. I guess I should've done all that. I could of thought of a different way to stop the tears, to get him to calm down. The amazing thing is that was the controlled side of me. As much as I wanted to set my lips to Kai's soft ones I just couldn't. Just imagining the both of us so close... Only inches apart got my heart beating like crazy. What do I do? I put my hand to my heart to feel how fast it was going. Every best longs for you. "Kai, I love you. But do you love me back?" I whispered with my hand still over my heart.
To be continued…(Tell me what you think! XD)